How to Drink Your Beers Really Fast
Do you always get those humiliating remarks from your friends regarding the speed of your beer-drinking? Yes, that can be really embarrassing, even if those are the closest friends of yours. But don't fall in despair. There is a way for you to learn to down your beers faster than any one of you friends can and gain back their respect. Just follow the instructions below, practice a little, and you're going to be the fastest beer-drinker in the neighborhood. It's that easy:
Buy some beer, (of course, ONLY if you're of legal drinking age - America: 21, Japan and Iceland: 20, most other countries where alcohol consumption is regulated: 18), open it up, than lean your head back (this will improve the rate of flow, thus, the speed of drinking), open your throat and let the beer flow in.
Make sure the beer doesn't end up in your trachea; be careful and choose the correct angle. Take some practice before you show off in front of your friends. Also, if you can't just let it flow in (takes talent and lots of practice), take the biggest gulps possible and remember to inhale while drinking. Correct breathing (again, takes practice to learn) can double your drinking speed.
An important part of the process is how you finish the drinking. One of the most popular and effective ways to do it is to drunkenly and loudly slam the empty container down to let everybody else know that you have finished your beer faster than every one of them did.
There is an alternative method for drinking canned beer really fast. Make a little whole at the base of the beer can. Do it when the can is on its side, otherwise it can spray at you. This small whole may be done using knife, screwdriver, spike or other small sharp implement. This is done to equalize the pressure inside and outside the can, so the beer flows out fast and smooth.
So what you need to do is to bend over and place the whole into your mouth. Stand up very quickly and open the can. The gravity will create a strong stream of beer coming out of the whole and going down your throat. This is probably the fastest and the most effective way to finish a beer (don't forget to slam the can down!). It's often called "shotgunning".
Remember that all these things can be really dangerous. Always have someone near you to call 9-1-1, just in case. They take a lot of practice and must be always done with caution. So think carefully before perfoming any of these, because what was planned to be a trick to impress your friends may turn to a visit to a hospital, or even something worth. Be responsible!